We just finished watching one of those Hallmark Christmas movies. You know. The ones with the predictable plot of boy meets girl, they fall in love, a misunderstanding leads to breakup, then something dramatic happens that brings them back together again, and then they live “happily ever after” as the romantic music plays and the credits roll. Or something like that. This movie was not quite that, though, partly because it had explicitly Christian motifs – the protagonist’s father was a pastor, all the characters were “Christian”, the scene is set around a church Christmas play, and like that. But both my wife and I were disturbed at the end. Something fell flat, felt unsatisfying about it, even with the explicit “Christian” content. And as we talked it became clear that the problem was that everything seemed too contrived. Something about the characters’ reactions, the dialog, even the main dramatic finale, was like, “Really, that’s all it is?” And it got me thinking …
And the question came up: “Am I being authentic?” Am I “trying too hard”?
It seems to me that one of the overarching principles, if you will, of the New Testament, of the idea / ideal of the Christian life, is that we are called to authenticity. I read once that a renowned psychologist was asked to evaluate Jesus’ life as recorded in the Gospels, and he came to the conclusion that Jesus’ reactions, His temperament, His words, were all absolutely perfect, were all absolutely indicative of an emotionally mature, perfectly appropriate behavior in all respects. In other words, He was “authentic”. In every way. So, obviously, if we are called to follow Jesus, then part of that call is to live as He did, as authentic. And the New Testament bears witness to this: Peter writes that our love must be earnest and completely sincere (I Peter 1:22). Jesus said we must be perfect as our Father in Heaven is perfect (Matthew 5:28). James writes about our lives being perfect (James 1:4), and Paul waxes eloquent that our love spring from a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith (I Timothy 1:5). Sounds pretty authentic to me. And there are numerous warnings about not acting to please men, avoiding hypocrisy, and not just paying lip service.
Even the Old Covenant talks about an authentic life: Jeremiah, speaking for God, says: “I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts.” (Jeremiah 31:33) To God, it seems, this life with Him is anything but superficial – it must come from deep within, from the very Spirit of God imparting to our inmost being the life and mind of Christ.
And this, I think, is one of the things that has disturbed me the most lately; about my own life, and about others around me that I look up to. Here’s the deal: I can see that the wicked, people who have no time or interest in God, are pretty much sold out to their positions, their ideals, their worldview. But, as Christians, we seem to be rather shallow, unsure of ourselves, or our beliefs, or else we are so sure of our own righteousness that we completely disdain others we don’t agree with, and don’t bother to listen or empathize. And we become just as bad as those we decry from our high towers…. Just look at the Pharisees and Sadducees, whom Jesus warned us to NOT to be like…. (Matthew 16:6, 11)
Perhaps I’m trivializing things – this is, after all, only a short blog post, not an entire book. But, hear me out. What if… what if, instead of trying to ACT like Christians, we instead focus on Christ Himself – getting to KNOW Him, listening to Him speak, learning to follow His leading, trusting Him alone for our righteousness, instead of trying to invent our own little set of rules on what it means to be “Christian”. And if, as we focus on Him, we are actually allowing His Spirit to form the very (authentic) life of Christ in us?!
One of the (I think) least talked about aspects of the life of Jesus is … wait for it … humility. Oh, there’s that word again. Don’t like to hear it. Don’t want to be a doormat. And why am I bringing this up when the topic is “authenticity”? Well, I think humility and authenticity are linked … inseparably, if you will…
It seems to me to be pretty hard to love others with a completely sincere love, considering others to be better (more important, more significant) than ourselves (Philippians 2:3) when we’re stuck on our own selves, and always thinking about our own welfare, advancement, rights, privileges, and desires. Ya think?!
In fact, I think humility is so deeply tied to the nature of who Jesus is, that it was one of the very first things He says about Himself and His character: Matthew 11:29 … for I am gentle and lowly in heart … We could have a debate about the nature of God, but if we (calling ourselves followers of Christ) actually believe Jesus, that He said what He meant, and meant what He said, then this statement has to carry some weight. In this passage, He seems to be saying that the primary reason to follow Him, to take up the yoke alongside Him, is because … (wait for it) … HE IS GENTLE. HE IS HUMBLE.
So, think about it. Do you know any really humble people? I think I have known a few (not many, but a few). They take time to listen to you. Their actions speak louder than their words, and their words always line up with their actions. They aren’t trying to run their program on you. They aren’t trying to sell you anything, and they don’t have an angle on you. When they screw up, they own it, and apologize, and do everything they can to make it right.
In short, they are authentic.
See how they go together?
Now, I will be the first (well, maybe the second, because I know some people who were very quick to point out my failings) to tell you that I OFTEN fall short of this humility. That I very often have fallen into the trap of trying to run my agenda on others, to make sure I “win the argument” and prove myself right. And maybe I’m doing that right now as I write?! I don’t know.
My first encounter with the Christian church when Jesus found me and I got to know Him was at a square dance there. The pastor of the church, a lovely, white-haired, 5′ tall, 50-something-year old woman greeted me at the door and welcomed me. My first thought was something like, “I can tell she loves me and she doesn’t even know me.” And by the end of the evening I could tell that not only her, but everyone there, had something genuinely different about them – they loved God, and each other, and me, in a way I had never experienced before. With a joy and a peace about them that was way different than the world I was used to.
And to tell you the truth, even though many of those people, and me as well, failed to completely live up to that first impression, I never got over that experience. My first experience with genuine Christians was one of authentic love. And it drew me. And changed me. And led me to Jesus Christ, the very source of that love.
So, what am I saying? I miss that. I played in an orchestra at a local church on Sunday for a Christmas program. The children had costumes and sang. It was very nice. BUT, the whole experience left a little bit of a bad taste. Why? Because it was all too much CHURCH…. A little TOO polished, a little too “this is what we do for Christmas”, a little too organized, and arranged, and neat and tidy. And even hearing the pastor give the same message to the second service reinforced that idea, I think, that it was all a performance, something contrived to be just the “right message”, the right tone and atmosphere, the “right thing”, but maybe not the authentic thing….
How do I know this? Well, to start with, I’m struggling. I’m seeing a counselor because I’ve had some really dark thoughts. I’m been crying a lot, and most days I struggle just to get out of bed, to even stay awake at my desk during work hours, to get the motivation to rinse off my dishes. And I’m sure I’m not alone. I see marriages struggling; I see young people leaving the church in droves; I see homeless people and addicts left to wander the streets; I see tyranny in high places, and hatred flaring between political parties. And all the while we “play church” and have our nice chairs, and our polished programs, and the picture-perfect decorations, and I wonder…. Are we authentic? Am I authentic?
Thanks for reading!