I’m having coffee on a Friday morning, at one of the local coffee shops; something I do on a semi-regular basis. One of the reasons I like this particular place is that a lot of the clientele on any given day will be fellow Christians, many having one-on-one Bible studies, or just spiritual discussions.
Now, being a Christian, that seems like it would be a good thing to hear, to be around. But, lately I’m increasingly uneasy with it. “Why?” you might ask.
Arrogance!
The tone of the words, with the “mentor” basically preaching to the “mentee”, reciting stories, Bible verses, personal experiences, but with an air of “I’m better than you — see all these things I know and have heard or experienced! So you better listen to me.”
But what I then see is that this super-spiritual person doesn’t have a kind word for the non-Christian waitress. You know, the one with multiple tattoos and piercings. Or this epitome of Christian grace who leaves no tip on the bill, except: “Here’s your tip — trust in Jesus.”
Words fail me for the depth of this hypocrisy!
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are.”
Matthew 23:15
And I’ve been there! Passing out “Christian” tracts on the sidewalk, then railing and yelling at someone who dares to say something negative toward me. Basically negating the very center of the gospel: “For God so LOVED the world, that He gave His only begotten Son…”
We had another strange experience a couple of weeks ago. We were at another church, participating in basically a round-table discussion of various basic truths of the faith, and one of the men at our table started to tell about experiences he’d had with miracles of healing, people brought back from the dead, missing limbs regrown, and on and on. Nobody really responded to him, and we went on, but I had a lot of questions. Partly because earlier he had expressed a lot of thanks for that church where he had found a home after some time being away from church, and that he had been questioning things a lot prior to this, and that he found it easy to give me authoritative advice on a very deep personal situation I had shared about.
Maybe I’m overthinking this, but … I wonder what my reaction would be if I had personally witnessed miraculous healings of this magnitude? Would I be so quick to almost flippantly reel off the list of miracles I’d seen? Would I be so “quick to speak and slow to listen”? And, then I have to ask, is this even real? Maybe he’s just making this stuff up, or embellishing or exaggerating the tale. Could I, would I, be the same way in his situation?
I don’t know, frankly. Probably I would.
Because my first encounter with the Living Son of God was in 1982, so 40 years ago as I’m writing this, and it was (I’m certain now) a small revelation of His Power, Authority, and Godhood. Along with the assurance that He was the same God I had heard about and read about as a child in my parents’ church and my Bible Story book. And then He quite gently asked me if I believed Him. With such a revelation I could hardly say anything, so I mentally nodded my head in silent assent.
And my life changed, just like that.
I am reminded of the Apostle John on the island of Patmos, when he saw the glorified Christ. He “fell at His feet as dead”. Or the Apostle Peter, when he pulled up the great catch of fish exclaiming, “Go away from me Lord, for I am a sinful man.” Or the Apostle Paul, who was knocked off his horse, and blinded by the blazing glory of the Son of God, and who could only ask, “Who are You, Lord?” Even the prophet Isaiah, when He say a vision of God on His throne, had to say, “Woe is me! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I have seen the Lord!”
It seems like the only proper reaction to a true revelation of the Living God is utter humility; of being “undone”. And yet … And yet, what I see a lot of are the super-spiritual, claiming great knowledge, boasting about wonderful experiences, and showing about 0% humility.
Now, I have to stop here and rat on myself. Because I’ve probably been the worst offender in this area… And worse yet, I’ve tried to compensate by resorting to almost nauseating “false humility”, where I put myself down, trying to deflect others’ praise by recounting how bad I really am. Or worse yet, trying to solicit praise by loudly proclaiming how bad I was, or slyly asking, “How did I do?” knowing full well that the other person is not going to say anything negative. It’s all SICK! Not true humility at all. It’s craving the approval of men, rather than God.
And, even with all the revelations I’ve had, all the Bible knowledge I have, I also quickly forget. Forget my first encounter with Jesus. Forget all the mercy He has shown me. Forget how much He loved me, even before I knew Him.
So, back to my point (and at this juncture I think you can rightfully ask these things of me as well): doesn’t it seem reasonable, and Biblical, to expect great humility from those whom God has given great revelations? I mean, Moses is described as the “most humble man on earth”, but he had to endure 40 years in the desert, herding sheep, to get there. Paul said that because of the great revelations he had given that he was given a painful “thorn in his flesh” to keep him from getting puffed up. Peter was told, “Blessed are you Simon, for you have been given this revelation [of who Jesus is] by God.” And yet two paragraphs later, Jesus has to tell him, “Get away from me, Satan”…. And he then found himself denying even knowing Jesus, three times, before Jesus restored him after asking three times, “Simon do you love Me?”
The Gentile woman who came to Jesus asking for healing for her daughter (Mark 7:24-30) had to go to the depths of humility, basically calling herself a dog, and completely unworthy, at which point Jesus commended her reply and granted her request. In Matthew 15:28 Jesus is recorded as saying, “Woman, you have great faith!”
So, do we (I) act this way? Do our (my) prayers come from the depths of humility before an Almighty and Everlasting, Infinite, Creator God? Or, like the Pharisees of old, do I pray and act out my righteousness for people to see?
Great faith is accompanied by great humility. I’m beginning to think they are symbiotic.
I had an experience a couple of years ago that shook me and changed me a lot. I can’t even remember exactly the circumstances, but I was praying by myself, just inside my head, when I had this almost overwhelming sense of HOW CLOSE God was to me — knowing the depths of my thoughts even before I think them, knowing what’s really going on in my heart before I speak the words. “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me.” For many months after that my prayers were different. No longer could I pray “the right words” if that wasn’t what I was really thinking, because God could SEE. And I am more aware than I’ve ever been (I think) of how much God is guiding my path, even when I’m not actively asking or seeking.
And so I ask myself, “Why?” “Why, God, have you chosen me?” I’m so much a nothing, so sinful, so faithless, and yet at the same time, so proud. Somehow it pleased God to make His power known in a vessel of clay….
And now back to my original thoughts. How is it that the “super-spiritual” are also so arrogant? Well, the devil was once the guardian angel, the closest to God’s throne, the leader of worship in Heaven. Until pride was found in him, and he was thrown down.
And so, as Jesus said, our father is the devil, until we are really converted. And on this earth we are going to being fighting our devilish nature constantly until we are transformed into His likeness.
I can’t really judge the people I see, since I’ve been the same way, and maybe still am in many ways. So, I need to pray. Because if I’ve been entrusted with revelations like this, then I also have a greater responsibility before God, first of all to not be like the Pharisee, second of all to have the heart of Jesus, who always lives to make intercession for us.
So, I’ll leave you with this promise:
[B]eing confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 1:6
That’s my only hope! Thanks for reading.
P.S. For all my friends who know the coffee shop I’m talking about, because I see you there semi-regularly, please don’t be offended, because I’m actually not talking about anyone I know (well, except, of course, myself). Well, that is, unless you see yourself in these descriptions …